- Thomas Thurston
Business Jargon Generator
Need random verbage for a slide presentation? Want to impress the boss? Want to toss out a tough question in your next meeting, even if you’ve been playing Angry Birds under the table the whole time? Want to sound like you have an MBA… or if you already have one, want to sound like you got your money’s worth? If the answer is “yes,” you’ll love the Business Jargon Generator.
The idea isn’t new – in fact I adapted it from a similar “Random Phrase Generator” my Dad had in the 1980s (he worked for the government so it came in handy all the time). Whenever you need to fill space in a business presentation, document, meeting or other encounter, simply string together one word from each list (in order 1, 2, 3) and… presto! You’ll have all the business jargon you need.
For example, if you’re not sure what to call your next PowerPoint slide deck you might use “Experiential Paradigm Convergence.” Nobody will know what it means – and that’s the point. It could mean anything. Hey – they may even think you’re onto something subtle and insightful!
Want to throw a curve ball at someone during a meeting, ask them how they plan to handle “Extended Scenario Innovation.” Make sure you do it with a straight face, then watch em’ squirm.
Want your boss to think you’re forward-looking? Ask why nobody’s been prioritizing “Proactive Competence Alignment.” If your boss asks what that means, say it’s to ensure “Global Impact Integration.”
If you’re an entrepreneur trying to raise venture capital, you might try using every word on this list in your next pitch. After all, who wouldn’t want to fund “Holistic Network Generation” based on “Intuitive Value Mobilization” to achieve “Catalyzed Mindshare Convergence”?
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